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Mazzoni Center’s ground-breaking initiatives and innovative programs often land us in print and on the airwaves.  Additionally, our experience and expertise in thee areas of HIV/AIDS and LGBT health and well being often positions the agency as the authority for news media on various health issues.  Find out about those newsbreaking items here first.  Click on items on the menu below to find out more about what Mazzoni Center is doing.

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Publications

Toby: I'm Not Afraid of People Hating Me

What really scares me is that people will think I’m a joke. Growing up, I’d hear my friends give guys shit, I’d hear my dad rip on these two guys he worked with…you could tell he had no respect for them at all.

My dad was kinda your typical hard-ass conservative father. It’s all about family, getting married, having kids…about being a man. I guess that’s what he meant when he made fun of the gay guys he worked with—they weren’t real men.

After high school I got a job as a messenger and moved into the city, up on 15th near Lombard.

Jake: Being Myself

For me, what was most difficult about being gay wasn’t coming to terms with my homosexuality but trying to figure out where I fit into gay culture. I grew up in a small town where it seemed like no one else was gay. I thought all gay men were feminine and skinny because those were the only gay men that I had been exposed to. Those were the images depicted in the media and it seemed that was the status quo. I am neither skinny nor feminine. I have always been a big guy and I would much rather go bowling than spend any time working out, shopping or trying to look cute.

Dorian: Wanted-Friendship, Non-sexual

Looking for someone I can talk to on the phone about random things…just how our day was…

Someone that I can walk down South Street with, go shopping, go out to eat, not be sexual with each other and both be satisfied…

Someone I can hang out with, go to a club with, really enjoy each other’s company and not have anything attached to it.

Why take ourselves through wondering if we want to sleep with each other or if we really want to be friends?

Robert: Neg Guy, Poz Boyfriend

Greg didn’t bring it up right away, which I understand. He’d had some really negative reactions.

I didn’t want to make him feel like I was distancing myself. What I told him was, “I do want to get close to you. Let me go with you to an appointment, just to go over what we can do and make sure we’re safe about it.”

It was hard convincing him I was for real. I had to keep telling him, “no, it’s not that I don’t want you, it’s that I don’t want it. They’re not the same thing.”

He agreed to take me to the doctor’s, but I don’t think he said a word the whole way.

Justin: Being Cool With Liking Guys

Most of my life I have had to prove myself. I grew up in Kensington. You ever been up around K and A? A lot of shit goes on there. My dad was never around which made things harder on my mom. I quit school when I was 16. Every day I was out on the corner selling dope and making money. Most of my friends died before I turned 25 and if they weren’t dead, they were in jail. I’ve been locked up a few times myself…. mostly from fighting. One time I was looking at 17-35 years for aggravated assault. I fought this guy and his dog.

Ra: Using Condoms

When I started, Acres was pretty much the only place I knew you could go if you were under 21. Besides, it was dark. I could hide myself, I felt like…I guess it’s like someone behind a computer screen. You can hide your personality. You can be a shadow if you want.

I never really liked the group thing so I just have one-on-ones. But I have to admit, them being random guys, anonymous guys, and it being unprotected—that turns me on. I think the unprotected thing…it’s more passionate, more erotic. There’s no layers.

Andrew: Gay in a Religious Family

They all held me down, one on each arm and leg. I was terrified and I was drunk. A couple times I got a hand free and tried to throw a punch, but mostly all I could do was scream. Somehow I flipped myself over. I was trying to bite them and tearing up carpet with my teeth. The priest was reading verses from Psalms. He was screaming at me, speaking in tongues.

They believe that when Jesus exorcised a demon, he got power over it by calling it by name. The priest started asking over and over, wanting me to tell him the name of the demon. I just kept saying, “My name’s Andrew!

Alex: Sexual Abuse

My neighbor started molesting me when I was seven. I wasn’t the only one in my neighborhood that got molested. He got to one of my best friends too. The difference between us was that he actually told his family about it. Unfortunately no one believed him and he got into big trouble. He got his ass beat because they thought he was lying. I guess seeing what happened to him when he told people scared me enough to keep my mouth shut. So it continued for a couple of years.

When I think about it now I see what happened in the third person.

Jerome: Sexual Assault

This one night, I was at a club in D.C. where I was visiting. Started to drink…I think I drank 15 beers that night. Went to town. I got so drunk I couldn’t see, things were blurred, and I was throwing up everywhere. I could hear people try to come help, but I would throw up on them, or they couldn’t understand me. Then I went into dry heaves.

This one guy picked me up…said, “I’ll help you.” Took me back to my hotel room, I gave him my key and he let us in. I puked again in the bathroom, and when I came out I saw him lying naked on the bed.

Kendall: Drug Addiction

I go to a clinic for Methadone and now my days are spent in therapy and drug treatment. It’s been six days since I used heroin. For some that isn’t a big accomplishment. For me, it’s six steps in a different direction; a direction I desperately need to continue to follow if my life is really going to change. Before entering the clinic my time was spent doing drugs, tricking myself out on the street and searching for a safe place to sleep.

When I think back to when I was a kid I guess it makes sense. You know, why I started using drugs. Growing up I went through all kinds of hell.