Wellness Counseling is a free service provided by Mazzoni Center for men who have sex with men and are interested in talking about relationships, disclosure, communication and how to have hot, fun, safe sex.  We're here to talk about your overall wellness and to help you meet any goals YOU want to accomplish!

To learn more, or enroll in the program please contact Richie at 215.563.0652, ext. 277 or rrotonta@mazzonicenter.org

In honor of Valentine's Day we're presenting a special Q&A with our crack team of Wellness Counselors.  

Edward, age 34, from Philly writes:

“I’m seeing this guy and he told me he is positive.  Valentine’s Day night may be our first time together… I want to make sure we’re being safe.  To tell you the truth, I’m a little nervous.  I just got tested, and my result came back negative.  I want to stay that way, while still taking our relationship to the next level.  I’m the catcher, if you know what I mean…”

Dear Curious Bottom, 

We love that you're into your guy, and that he told you his status.  Communication is essential in ANY relationship- and when you bring sex into the mix, it’s even more important.  After all, you want to keep things hot - but stress free.  

Let me ask you something- when you were tested for HIV, did you also get screened for other STIs?  (sexually transmitted infections).  While HIV is the "big" one, some STIs hang around the house, and you don’t even know they’re visiting!  STI’s can wreak havoc- not just on YOUR health, but on that of your partner who has a compromised immune system.  So while you’re obviously concerned about your HIV status, knowing that you’re both STI-free is important, too.

That being said: you can absolutely have an intimate relationship with your HIV-positive partner while staying safe.  Here are the three keys:

1. Strap up!  

Correct and consistent condom use isn’t just a myth.  It really does act as an effective and protective barrier.  

2. Lube down!

There are lots of lubes out there.  You want to make sure yours is water based and NOT oil-basedlube.  The oil can break down the latex, making it ineffective.  Experiment until you find the right lube that works best for you and your partner.  Using lube every time will not only feel good, but prevent harmful friction that can result in tearing - not just of your body, but the condom as well! 

3. Bottoms up!

This is the most important:  have fun, enjoy yourself, and relax.  Being comfortable saying “WHEN!” is part of negotiating; and any healthy relationship has that in spades.  That applies not just to you, but to him as well.  Keep Calm and Carry ON!

We should mention that Mazzoni Center offers free condoms, lube, and dental dams – available at our offices at 21 S. 12th Street, 8th floor (Monday-Friday, 9:00 AM-5:00 PM), at the Washington West Project (1202 Locust Street, click here for hours), or anywhere you see our Outreach teams at community events!  

Tyrese, age 27, student from Pennsauken, says:

My life is crazy.  I work full time, I’m in school, and I don’t really have much time for a relationship.  Being a social butterfly- I just haven’t found “the one”.  Now don’t get me wrong- I don’t really mind, but Valentine’s Day- I can get a little lonely, you know?  What’s a good way to beat the Valentine’s Day Blues?

Dear Lonely Heart: 

It sounds like you have a lot of good things going for you!  You’re going to school, you’re working and you’re living your life!  Sometimes it’s easy to feel like a bit of an outcast in a world where many people are coupled up.  Our advice to you is to use this time to show yourself some love, or hang out with some of your single friends!  Go out to dinner, find a happy hour, check out that new independent film you’ve been meaning to see.  The world is your oyster!  Don’t let a 24-hour holiday let you forget how AWESOME your life is 365 days of the year!  I know it can feel lonely, but remember that not every relationship is a walk in the park.  Put your life in perspective on Valentine’s Day, focus on the love and support you DO have around you (whether it not it comes in a 'traditional' form).  Some of us Wellness Counselors will be doing the same! 

And finally a word from 'Living La Vida Loca,' Louie from Lancaster, age 48:

When people say: "been there, done that," I think they were referring to me!  I’m not tied down to one partner.  I have many, and I like it that way!  I always have more than one Valentine - and this year is no different.  Sometimes, we all get together and celebrate, if you know what I mean.  But, in the Fall of 2011, I tested positive for gonorrhea: NO FUN!  It totally put a damper on my uninhibited sex life.  I was treated, and the infection is over, and now I really want to get back to my old ways.  Is there a way I can spread the love without spreading, (or getting) a new disease?

Hey Loca Louie!  

We love that you’re having a blast and celebrating your sexuality while feeling good about yourself. Chances are, you caught an STD because you weren’t protecting yourself- and/or you didn’t know your partner’s status.  I know it’s complicated when you’re hooking up, and in the heat of the moment, to get a rundown of your partner’s sexual history.  Our suggestions?  

1. If you've had an STD, be sure to get tested for HIV as well.  It’s a lot easier to get and give HIV when you or one of our partners has an STD that is lingering.

2. Know your multiple partners!  Maybe do some spring cleaning?  Reducing your number of partners will also reduce your risk.  Are one of your partners a little last season- and you haven’t talked in a while and really don’t know what they’ve been up to?  Ditch 'em and get to know the partners you keep.  We've talk about the importance of communication in a traditional relationship - but communicating in these less formal relationships is important, as well!  

3. Protection!  Protection!  Protection!  We don’t like to sound like the Condom Police, but using correct and consistent condom use is the BEST way to stay safe, besides being abstinent.  (Which doesn’t sound like something that Loca Loving Louie would want to do anytime soon!)  Good luck, have fun, and be safe!

This advice has been brought to you by:

Kamilah Clarke (Wellness Counselor/Early Intervention), who will be preparing for Valentine’s Day by watching old episodes of Felicity that have recently been added to streaming on Netflix!.

Patrick Marcoux (Wellness Counselor/Early Intervention), who started preparing for Valentine’s Day last Valentine’s Day.

& Richie Rotonta (Wellness Counselor), who wants to know: “When is Valentine’s Day, again?  Is that when the Groundhog sees his shadow?”